I'm a mom too!

That was the phone call I got at noon today, and my response was...OOOKKKAAAYYY? And the resident that called me laughed. He asked, "Are you OK with that?"  OF COURSE I'M OK WITH THAT!  The short story is that they are happy with the 16 treatments that I've had and they think it is enough.  The long story is my case is unique. It was a large area of contained cancer. They did 3 weeks of whole breast radiation. The next 5 treatments were supposed to be a targeted boost of higher radiation to just the cancer cavity which is large. Upon making my plan they discovered it is too large to do without risks. Basically the risks outweigh the benefit. They are more comfortable leaving me be than going forward with the boost which I most likely do not need. Sooooo...... YIIPPPPEEEEEEEEEE!  I feel great and tomorrow I'm going back to work. You can now pray that I remember how to teach. :) What a roller coaster the last 14 weeks have been.  Ready or not here I come 2nd grade...

It’s still going good. No reaction yet! 😁 

My two spots of DCIS were removed with clear margins! They were 68 mm and 45 mm.  Everything is going as expected. I'm healing well. This is the easiest surgery I have had to date. I can drive, cook, and clean.  I do NOT want to downplay how hard surgery CAN be. I did not have lymph nodes removed. I did not have drains. I had the best case scenario, even with two spots. I will say though the diagnosis, three needle biopsies, and MRIs were very difficult so when I say surgery was easy, the 4 weeks prior to that were not. It should be downhill from here. You can still pray that I have no obstacles or complications during radiation and that my energy level stays up during treatment.  Now onto radiation (which is just an aggressive approach to ensure there are no cancer cells left behind). I updated my dates  here . 

Today I feel better than I have felt since I was diagnosed with DCIS. Translation: I feel amazing! All my anxiety is gone. I went for a walk this morning. The biopsies and MRIs were the worst part so far. This may not last as I continue onto meds and radiation but for now, this two weeks, I'LL TAKE IT! Do not worry about me. For now I am so good. :) 

My calendar knows me too well! 😆 So in the morning I found out that the third biopsy was in fact DCIS so I found out that I was actually having 2 lumpectomies, both on the right breast. All my biopsies were on the right. So the first biopsy on July 8 was DCIS, the second one on July 21 was benign, and the 3rd one was a result of the MRI finding and it was also DCIS. That dang MRI that I tried to talk them out of us was actually a lifesaver. The mammogram didn't catch this, the contrast on my MRI lit it up. So the upside to this is I really do not have a benign cyst problem so I guess I can drink caffeine after all?? Tamoxifen should take care of developing anymore DCIS and radiation will kill anything they missed. My reoccurence percentage is still only 3%.  So at 10:00 I had two seeds placed and went to presurgery. They had my IV and monitors, hooked up by 11:00. Surgery was scheduled for 1:00 so I napped. 1:00 came and went. 2:00 came and went.  Being impatient Finally at 3...

I'm doing good. I fully trust my surgeon oncologist. I've always felt very comfortable with my hospital. It is too bad the hospital and I are so acquainted. I have had 4 surgeries and spent a total of 11 nights in this hospital. I will not be spending the night tomorrow.  I have been on the other side in the waiting room and as a visitor when my mom had lung cancer surgery. You will find me guiding people in the right direction when they seem lost. I've been asked, "Do you work here?" "No, no I'm just a frequent flyer."  Here is my surgeon talking about why we are doing a lumpectomy. A mastectomy was never an option for me as it is simply not necessary.  And my Covid test is negative. :) 

So apparently the contrast on my MRI lit up and that is why I had another needle biopsy this morning (ultrasound guided). It seems to be benign and and we are still planning on one lumpectomy on Friday. Worst case scenario is the pathology would come back malignant and I would have two lumpectomies on Friday guided by two seeds or a seed and a wire.   It appears that I have some benign breast disease that I can't remember or pronounce. What can I do about this? Lay off the caffeine. So let me get this straight....eat heathy, stop drinking, and no caffeine???? Never mind that I need my coffee to wake my brain up after (remember I've had two brain surgeries....) I'm not mad about this but really?  In reality I am exaggerating and the guidance it eat healthier, drink less, and less caffeine instead of having absolutely none but it is laughable when you say it the other way.  Dr. Silvia (my surgeon), explaining the difference between seed and wire guided lumpectomy....

This journey can be hard and sometimes it is hard to get out of a funk. I had to dig deep to get through this week. Here are some things I did.  1. I practiced mediation. 2. I literally practiced breathing with my head facedown like I did in the MRI.  3. I made myself a youtube playlist of my girls' videos that makes my heart happy.  My peace playlist . 

Those two MRIs were two totally different experiences. I was positioned lower and had no problem taking deep breaths. That gave it a completely different experience. I also took naproxen, ativan, and asked for Taylor Swift. The second song was Rachel Platten's fight song. During that song the hard part was not to start crying because I got emotional but I held it together. Blanket was off, I could feel cool air going through the machine. I think I'd want a blanket if it was winter but liked feeling the cool since it is summer. It was shorter than my brain MRIs so I was surprised when it was done.  CRAP! Editing to say they saw something. Now I will have an ultrasound and possible biopsy on Aug. 11. 

So this week the hard work began starting with an MRI. I'm used to MRIs so I went it like it was just another day. I really, really should've mentally prepared for laying down in the machine and taking breaths while your body weight is resting on your sternum while staying absolutely still . That is NOT for the weak. I'm not a wimp and that took me over the edge. Yep I overfocused on breathing carefully, and that triggered a panic attack because I could not breath deeply. I will try again tomorrow with the help of my new friend Avitan. I've literally been practicing breathing while facing down with pressure on my sternum. I also made myself a playlist on youtube that puts me in a positive mindset. The videos are my favorites of the girls growing up. Wish me luck tomorrow!  Now for the good news. My genetic testing came back negative! No BRCA, no cancer genes!! I'm going to be just fine and so are my girls. 

Today was all good news! It is completely contained, less than 1 cm. and an easy fix. Radiation is an aggressive precaution. I will have a lumpectomy on Aug. 14th, followed by radiation. They will not need to test lymph nodes and radiation is an aggressive precaution.  My cancer is estrogen and progesterone positive. I was told that I need to lose weight and drink less because fat produces estrogen and the liver breaks it down. That was the worst news of the day. :/ They did take my blood for genetic testing but that wouldn't change this surgery. It will just be good information to have with my family's history of cancer. Something else I learned today is that this is an early stage that mammograms 20 years would never have caught. It IS good to live in the 2000s. Here is my Timeline: Aug. 4- MRI Aug. 17-Covid Test and  Radioactive seed placement Aug. 19-Lumpectomy Sept. 16ish- Radiation would start, every day for 4 weeks Sept. 23rd- Considering going to back to wo...

Updating: So someone talked me into making an Amazon wish list. My wish list includes things that will help me on my health journey, help with radiation,  or feel good gifts.  Thank you in advance for considering any of these gifts! (I took the list down but it was an excellent suggestion for things that helped along the way!)    I really do hate this question. Especially, during Covid. Here is the deal, you can't really help me. But also, I don't think I need it, yet. Also, I'm not afraid to ask for it when I do. Do you know who does need help right now? Teachers, and admins, and paras, and school staff. The country is in need right now. Everyone needs to help everyone. People need to take care of people. I promise you I can take care of myself so that you can take care of others, like my class, like my substitute, like my team, like my school, like my district. Help with kind words and patience. Help the country with an act of kindness. Help by wearing a mask whe...

In August 2019 my screening and then diagnostic mammogram showed some calcified clusters. They were tiny so not much they could do. They told me to come back in 6 months. I had every intention to go back in February, but we got busy and then Covid19 happened. I finally got around to the follow-up diagnostic mammo on June 25  June 25 diagnostic mammogram--they saw TWO clusters this time July 8 needle biopsy #1 , 2nd cluster was too small to keep trying at this time July 15 dreaded phone call I  have non-invasive DCIS clusters, yes I have breast cancer. July 21 (Today) I had a second needle biopsy of a second cluster they can barely see and gave up on last time--this time really really hurt as the first biopsy didn't bother me. It hurt so, reality set in, as did this moment when they handed me a pink ice pack. That biopsy was benign. :) July 27- Met with genetic counselor and medical, surgical, and radiation oncologists. I learned that it is less than 1cm (they were ...

And I'm a little mad at the world and honestly I'm not ready to tell my cancer story but I do have a funny story that I don't want to forget. Here is my funny story. The hardest part of a cancer diagnosis is telling your mom. Especially if your mom is a cancer survivor. And she has survived it twice. And you've had to tell her you had a brain tumor while she was still doing chemo treatments. On Wednesday I found out I have breast cancer. I will post details later. I knew I had to tell some people. I told my friends, some who knew I had the biopsy and I added a few more that I needed to tell right away, because I'm a teacher, in a pandemic, and I knew I needed their help. Then I told a few more people, my girls, and my siblings. I begged my sister to tell my mom because I DIDN't THINK I COULD. She wouldn't. So I worked up the nerve. So I got her on facetime and I told her and she said to me. "You know the hardest part for me was telling my mom....