I'm a mom too!

My two spots of DCIS were removed with clear margins! They were 68 mm and 45 mm.  Everything is going as expected. I'm healing well. This is the easiest surgery I have had to date. I can drive, cook, and clean.  I do NOT want to downplay how hard surgery CAN be. I did not have lymph nodes removed. I did not have drains. I had the best case scenario, even with two spots. I will say though the diagnosis, three needle biopsies, and MRIs were very difficult so when I say surgery was easy, the 4 weeks prior to that were not. It should be downhill from here. You can still pray that I have no obstacles or complications during radiation and that my energy level stays up during treatment.  Now onto radiation (which is just an aggressive approach to ensure there are no cancer cells left behind). I updated my dates  here . 

So yesterday school started without me. And it felt weird because I feel really good, however today I realized that I feel good because I'm not doing much. I am walking everyday and until today I was even feeling guilty about that, but today I realized that if I'm going to go back into the classroom in a pandemic with twice the workload I'm gonna HAVE TO WALK MORE! I'm currently walking 1 mile in the morning and sometimes a mile in the evening. I'm gonna have to increase that if I think I'm gonna have any kind of stamina for going back into the classroom. So if you see me walking, know that I'm training for my comeback. :)  As far as recovery. I have to keep my bandage intact til Tuesday. It is starting to get annoying but I think I'll live. 

Well Friends has always been the way that I recover from surgery. Now that it is not on Netflix I was wondering what they heck I was gonna do. I signed up for HBO Max but could not find a way to watch it on my TV which frustrating me to no end. Then yesterday, on TBS West I watched the finale, followed by the pilot and realized that if I stick with TBS I'll probably be able to knock out a lot of seasons. And boy am I right! They show them 9-3 on weekdays and we will be starting season 3 by the end of the week. This is a new speed to which I will watch them all!! The only thing I can't figure out is why it is 4:30 and I'm still watching FRIENDS. The schedule is off today and I'm not sure why. Does it matter?  Update to say I figured it out!! TBS West plays them 1:00-6:00 and TBS East plays them 10:00-3:00. There are 10 episodes per day and I can watch 10:00-6:00 every day if need be. PHEW. That's a lot, even for me. It'll be fun to try though! If I miss one I can...

Time to call in for back up called Marley Spoon and Blue Apron. So we have dabbled in these two subscriptions and this is our pro con list.  Pro:  Healthy and fresh Tasty Breaks up monotony Delivered to your door Con:  Time consuming to make Not every day type meals Uses a lot of dishes  Pricey but it isn't something we'd wouldn't do every day anyway so this evens out Will we continue? Nope. They are simply too time consuming. I also have a subscription to emeals that we currently don't use. Back to square one. Need to get healthy. Need to eat more veggies and less carbs. Don't want to. That being said, this was a fun experiment that J and my hubby enjoyed doing together.  Marley Spoon Blue Apron Add caption

Today I feel better than I have felt since I was diagnosed with DCIS. Translation: I feel amazing! All my anxiety is gone. I went for a walk this morning. The biopsies and MRIs were the worst part so far. This may not last as I continue onto meds and radiation but for now, this two weeks, I'LL TAKE IT! Do not worry about me. For now I am so good. :) 

My calendar knows me too well! 😆 So in the morning I found out that the third biopsy was in fact DCIS so I found out that I was actually having 2 lumpectomies, both on the right breast. All my biopsies were on the right. So the first biopsy on July 8 was DCIS, the second one on July 21 was benign, and the 3rd one was a result of the MRI finding and it was also DCIS. That dang MRI that I tried to talk them out of us was actually a lifesaver. The mammogram didn't catch this, the contrast on my MRI lit it up. So the upside to this is I really do not have a benign cyst problem so I guess I can drink caffeine after all?? Tamoxifen should take care of developing anymore DCIS and radiation will kill anything they missed. My reoccurence percentage is still only 3%.  So at 10:00 I had two seeds placed and went to presurgery. They had my IV and monitors, hooked up by 11:00. Surgery was scheduled for 1:00 so I napped. 1:00 came and went. 2:00 came and went.  Being impatient Finally at 3...

I'm doing good. I fully trust my surgeon oncologist. I've always felt very comfortable with my hospital. It is too bad the hospital and I are so acquainted. I have had 4 surgeries and spent a total of 11 nights in this hospital. I will not be spending the night tomorrow.  I have been on the other side in the waiting room and as a visitor when my mom had lung cancer surgery. You will find me guiding people in the right direction when they seem lost. I've been asked, "Do you work here?" "No, no I'm just a frequent flyer."  Here is my surgeon talking about why we are doing a lumpectomy. A mastectomy was never an option for me as it is simply not necessary.  And my Covid test is negative. :) 

The hospital drive thru was smooth as silk as was the swabbing. Compared to what I have been through the last 6 weeks, this was cakewalk. It is easy to endure anything for 30 seconds. No pain, barely a tickle. Next up? Surgery!! 

So apparently the contrast on my MRI lit up and that is why I had another needle biopsy this morning (ultrasound guided). It seems to be benign and and we are still planning on one lumpectomy on Friday. Worst case scenario is the pathology would come back malignant and I would have two lumpectomies on Friday guided by two seeds or a seed and a wire.   It appears that I have some benign breast disease that I can't remember or pronounce. What can I do about this? Lay off the caffeine. So let me get this straight....eat heathy, stop drinking, and no caffeine???? Never mind that I need my coffee to wake my brain up after (remember I've had two brain surgeries....) I'm not mad about this but really?  In reality I am exaggerating and the guidance it eat healthier, drink less, and less caffeine instead of having absolutely none but it is laughable when you say it the other way.  Dr. Silvia (my surgeon), explaining the difference between seed and wire guided lumpectomy....

This journey can be hard and sometimes it is hard to get out of a funk. I had to dig deep to get through this week. Here are some things I did.  1. I practiced mediation. 2. I literally practiced breathing with my head facedown like I did in the MRI.  3. I made myself a youtube playlist of my girls' videos that makes my heart happy.  My peace playlist . 

Those two MRIs were two totally different experiences. I was positioned lower and had no problem taking deep breaths. That gave it a completely different experience. I also took naproxen, ativan, and asked for Taylor Swift. The second song was Rachel Platten's fight song. During that song the hard part was not to start crying because I got emotional but I held it together. Blanket was off, I could feel cool air going through the machine. I think I'd want a blanket if it was winter but liked feeling the cool since it is summer. It was shorter than my brain MRIs so I was surprised when it was done.  CRAP! Editing to say they saw something. Now I will have an ultrasound and possible biopsy on Aug. 11. 

So this week the hard work began starting with an MRI. I'm used to MRIs so I went it like it was just another day. I really, really should've mentally prepared for laying down in the machine and taking breaths while your body weight is resting on your sternum while staying absolutely still . That is NOT for the weak. I'm not a wimp and that took me over the edge. Yep I overfocused on breathing carefully, and that triggered a panic attack because I could not breath deeply. I will try again tomorrow with the help of my new friend Avitan. I've literally been practicing breathing while facing down with pressure on my sternum. I also made myself a playlist on youtube that puts me in a positive mindset. The videos are my favorites of the girls growing up. Wish me luck tomorrow!  Now for the good news. My genetic testing came back negative! No BRCA, no cancer genes!! I'm going to be just fine and so are my girls.