Friday, April 20, 2018

I'm a slacker mom but that is OK because I'm doing it my way!

So M has an all day event today. I took a personal day from work before the schedule was out. Her main event isn't until 4:30. She insisted that no parent goes to the 10:30 event. She was singing a song I've heard with 150 girls. I thought sweet, I don't want to spend the entire day an hour away either. I will enjoy my day, come to 4:30 event, get some R&R AND kill the mom thing. I'm amazing.

10:45 that morning the facebook posts start coming in while I was in my recliner playing candy crush. Oh here comes the mom guilt! So many thoughts ran through my mind. Gotta love facebook. Then I realized, that I am just a mom doing the mom thing my way. Three years ago I was fighting for my life, but also learning life lessons. I am here, I am great, and THIS is a wonderful thing. I am lucky to be doing this mom thing MY way. I need R&R to do this mom thing. Everything in moderation is MY way and that is OK. My girls are great despite my slacker momming. WE are OK. I encourage you to be a slacker mom too, (IF you want to). You do you.

It's also my third craniversary! I am so blessed to be doing so well and I remember that every single day (especially when I brush my hair and bump a screw).
Here are some things I learned Apr. 15/16 2015
How to let go and let God
It is OK to skip things and say no
Basically, slow down
Time heals—for real
I love you all
#atypicalbraintumor #meningioma

AND the lesson of all, do the mom thing MY WAY I'm here and that is a gift

Did I mention that I'm doing this MY way??? 

Saturday, March 10, 2018

I hate meal planning! -UGH

Here is my brainstorming post about what I decided to do about it.

I think I have it! 
Sun.- Recipe options

Mon.- soup, sandwiches, fruit
Tues. - Teacher service Tex-Mex Chicken casserole  
Wed. - Subway
Thurs.- Frozen mac and cheese
Fri.- veggie pizza
Sat.-???? Take all day to figure this out and end up with take-out 

Friday, March 9, 2018

This is becoming a health blog -how did that happen? -Gallbladder surgery and recovery

1 week post gallbladder surgery update:

Healing is going as expected, journaling details for my timehop.

Day 1: Didn't get into surgery until 12:30, they kicked me out at 4:00. I was not ready, very sleepy and nauseated.
Day 2: Happy that I felt like eating and feeling better than Friday evening.
Day 3-5: Pain going down each day, pretty much gone by Day 5. What was left was if I stretched too far. Some sharp pains in the side but they aren't so bad.
Day 6-7: Still taking it easy, careful not to stretch too far or sneeze.
Digestion, not good but not bad either. Hopefully this continues to get better.

Most of all this just happened so fast. I went from having some sharp pains around Christmas time, ultrasound, HIDA scan (that showed chronic gallbladder disease). Sharp pains mostly went away but surgery was scheduled so I went with it. Yes, surgery was easy compared to what I've been through but I'm still wondering if it was the right thing but also ready to move on. If you ask me if I feel better the honest answer is I don't know yet. I forget pain quickly.

Thank you for all your thoughts and messages. Once again I'm feeling a lot of love!

Sunday, December 31, 2017

New Year Resolutions 2018

New Year Resoulutions....the reason I make them is because there is no other good thing to do in January. That being said I haven't made any since 2013 and I miss them. I'd rather call it new habit January though and try to focus on one main one. This year's main habit it good for my pocketbook but not so good for many of you. My new habit is not going to any direct sales parties, especially for me. An exception will be Lularoe for my kids. They need some leggings but I need nothing. So sorry DS friends. I have to do this for me. We are saving for Florida 18, Branson 18, and New York 19. Plus you were all right, High School IS expensive. Also can I please go to the doctor less. I DO want to celebrate that I had a healthy year and did NOT max out my out of pocket insurance!! (for the first time in 4 years). I only had ONE MRI, and THREE mole removals (2 expensive ones). Good vibes for no mole removals in 2018 along with a good MRI. 
Oct. 2018! Also if we could find an affordable anti-seizure med that is compatible with me and affordable and legal that would be great.....

Here are my 2018 Resolutions in order of importance 
  • Do not attend Direct Sales Parties (this will save me 52 million dollars)
  • Attend 150 Jazzercise classes in 2018, eat some vegetables 
  • Keep up with laundry (better do some today)
  • Clean and Orgnaize with A Bowl full of Lemons (now I'm just dreaming) (Possible February focus)

~How do you save money?
~ What are your New Year Resolutions?

Monday, July 17, 2017

Extracurriculars, oh how I love to hate them

I have 2 sayings my friends have heard me say many times 1. Never say never and 2. Pick your Poison (carefully, LOL)

  1. So we are trying something new that I said I would never do. Traveling out of town to a dance studio J chose. She is ready for the challenge and I’m ready to support her. Where she leads, we will follow. She is ready, we are ready to support her. 
  2. Most extracurriculars are expensive and intense. Gone are the days of $30 6 week programs. Extracurriculars are often an entire year commitment. Gone are the days of trying everything. Everyone wants their activity to be your #1. Music, dance or sports, pick your poison. It’s all expensive. Pick two poisons, multiple it by number of kids, go crazy, see you in the asylum. :) 
Anyhow, we have no idea if this is her right fit or how this is going to go but are excited to find out!
Photo credit goes to the internet

My 2 cents on when to quit/change, when to push and when to leave alone. Quit-if the child and both parents are unhappy, then it is not a right fit. Push-if the instructors/coaches are respectful and trustworthy, they are learning and the child needs to learn to stick it out OR it is piano, always push for piano (LOL j/k, sort of, it worked for us). I feel the same way about swim lessons.  Leave alone-when all/most of you are happy, the child is learning and the instructor/coach is respectful and trustworthy, seriously, don’t mess with that.  Now, just when are we going to fit piano in……..????

Disclaimer—I know some will disagree with my opinion and that is OK. Also do I change my mind sometimes. YES! That is why I say NEVER SAY NEVER. 

Thursday, July 13, 2017

24 skin biopsies, 8 dysplastic nevus (moles), 3 severely dysplastic (atypical) requiring wide local excisions, 0 melanoma--Staying on top of it.

Reading a skin pathology report. In my search to find the answers to these questions I have noticed that it is VERY hard to find the answer the answers in layman's terms so I am going to take a stab at it. Disclaimer--I am not a doctor. I'm just a patient that has had 24 skin biopsies (give or take a few). I've been very confused in the past. 

What is the difference between benign, dysplastic/atypical, and melanoma?

Benign=not cancerous/malignant
Dysplastic/atypical=in between benign and cancer

Are their different kinds/stages of dysplastic nevus? 

Yes there are many kinds (I have no idea how many kinds but your path report should show you) and stages (for lack of any better way to describe this). This is how I see severity in my brain. 
  • Benign-you are GOOD!
  • Mildly dysplastic (you will see the words mild atypia or mild somewhere) -ALMOST BENIGN
  • Moderately dysplastic (look for the word moderate)- SMACK DAB IN BETWEEN benign and cancer, Drs. will probably look to see that margins were cleared
  • Severely dysplastic (look for the words severe)- ALMOST CANCER, Drs. will consider wide local excision to ensure that no almost cancer cells are left behind

  • Clear as mud???

THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE BEFORE MY BIOPSY. My Dr. told me that the spots spreading away are a sign of a blistering sunburn (that I had 1 year ago) and that is why we looked under the micro lens thingy and decided to biopsy it.

I go to the derm every 6 months. He is very skilled at finding these. So far I remain cancer free but this may be a full time job.

If you are reading this and have NOT ever had a mole check I advise you do find a dermatologist and get one. Get a baseline check. Get advice from a doctor. That is my advice always. Do not mess around and look for answers on the interweb! You won't find them. ;) 

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Forming a Healthy Relationship Between the Parents and the Children

I am a reformed yeller. It was worth it. Now I get to brag. My 14 year old just wrote this for her HAL class and with her permission I bring it to you.

"Take a second to think about your parents. The people who have been the biggest influence in your
life and even if you don’t want to admit it, have shaped who you are as a person thus far. As you grow older and start to become more independent, you start to think for yourself and realize a few things about yourself and your parents. You may start to think that your parents don’t know anything. Okay, they may not know everything, but they still know stuff and can help you become an adult. As teenagers, it may become normal to live with the “I hate my parents” attitude. If you feel this this way, you should take some time to build a better relationship with your parents. Here’s what I believe forms a good relationship between the parents and the child.

Let’s address something very important and obvious, times have changed since your parents were kids! Have your parents ever asked you for help with the latest fancy technology? They aren’t as experienced as you and sometimes need your help because metal devices that respond to your touch and watches that do more than just tell time weren’t the norm back when they were a kid. This is because the world has changed. Your parents don’t know what being a teen is like in this day and age because they didn’t have to worry about snapping the perfect Instagram-worthy picture whenever they went to hang with friends. Sometimes, the don’t realize that society is constantly changing, and generations raised in this changing society will be exposed to different things than when the parents were teenagers. Parents need to learn to accept the new and communicate with their children to creature understanding between both parties about these changes.

A problem that may be happening between parents and children is that they may not understand the importance of communication. It is essential for the parents and the kids to discuss what it is like to be a teen in this society and help the parents understand. Kids! You should talk to your parents and tell them about yourselves, even though you may not like it. They deserve to know who you are and who you want to be. Tell them about your goals, hopes, fears, anything! Parents! Listen to your children! Even if you are constantly busy, take some time each day to sit down and hear what your kids have to say. That is the number one thing to do to show you that you care! If you listen, you are inviting them to open up to you, and the communication helps for a healthy relationship. While listening to your children, please do not try to change who they are. Let your child form their own opinions about the world and let them be, unless their views on how life should be lived harm other people. For example, if your child thinks becoming a serial killer is a good career path, please steer them another direction.

Finally, you and your parents are allowed to make mistakes! Being a parent is a hard job, and nobody is perfect. If your parents are doing something that is bothering you and you think there is a better approach to the situation, talk to them about it! Remember when I just talked about communication being important? In my family, when I was in about 4th grade, we realized a very important thing that we were all doing wrong. Yelling. Yelling had become a bad habit for everyone in my family. Eventually we realized that screaming at each other helped absolutely nothing, and that sitting down and talking with each other when we were angry worked much better. Our whole family learned from the experience that proper communication keeps a family running smoothly. Everyone makes mistakes, and we learn from them. It’s what makes us human!

I know it may feel like your parents don’t understand you, and it’s almost like they forgot what it’s like to be a teenager! That being said, it’s important for you not to close yourself off in your room all day. Take my advice and talk to your parents. Ask them questions, tell them stories, and what it’s like to grow up in this day and age. This will help you form a healthy relationship with them. And head’s up, your future self wants you to take this time to bond with your parents because you’ll miss them once in awhile when you’re an independent adult." ~M.T.

Now someone please pass me the tissue. About 4 years ago I listened to an online seminar given by Amy McCready of Positive Parenting. I thought this positive parenting thing was too hard, I wanted fast fixes!! I also didn't know how to get rid of the yells. I had a 10 year old and a 5 year old. I look back and realize that 8-12 was my biggest challenge in parenting and had been blindsided when my very complacent oldest child all the sudden had her own agenda with her own needs, wants and FEELINGS!! She also wasn't afraid to share those feelings. So, after listening to McCready, I decided to give up yelling for lent. It wasn't all rainbows and unicorns. Stuff spilled, things got lost, my girls yelled (they don't unlearn it immediately) but I didn't give in. I took deep breaths and moved forward. After weeks of not yelling I relaxed. I learned that stuff still spilled, things still got lost, words were still shared but not only was I relaxing, so were the girls. Gradually our connections grew, and fast forward a year or two, things were amazingly better. Not only did I talk more respectfully but so did they.

Lent starts today, you don't have to be Catholic to start not yelling today, but if you are, I challenge you to give up yelling. It will be your best lent season ever and what you gain will be worth more than a million dollars.

Other blogs, websites and books I read on my journey were: