This morning I met with my medical oncologist. Up until last night at midnight I didn't think anything of this appointment. Then for some reason, at midnight, I started thinking OMG WHY are they having me meet with the medical oncologist BEFORE the radiation oncologist and I PANICKED. I thought for sure they were going to tell me margins weren't clear enough and I would need chemo. Therefore I lost a whole night of sleep. The ONLY reason I could think of them wanting to treat with chemo is that one margin was only .06 cm from my chest muscle wall and they generally want close to a 2 mm margin. For a change I was thankful for my early 8 AM appointment where he confirmed that the cancer was contained and he confirmed that margin should be OK because it wasn't invasive. So treatment remains the same. I am having radiation, and I am going on hormone blocker. So to sum up, nothing changed and I panicked for nothing. Most of the time is I am calm as a cucumber about my appointments but every once in awhile my emotions and anxiety attack the rational part of my brain and take over. Welcome to my life of medical PTSD.
He also reminded me that I need to eat healthy and not to gain any weight. I have reversed my habits and have lost a couple pounds. The trick will be keeping healthy habits when I go back to work (I'm currently on FMLA). BTW, it may be in my head, but I am CONVINCED that I am doing so well because we are taking the time to focus on my health without the stress of work. I get more sleep, I am eating better, drinking more water, have less stress than I would have if I was trying to do both. Many people call me strong. I correct them and tell me not strong, just wise. And unfortunately experienced. I STRUGGLED when I went back to work after my brain tumor. My doctors and I talked at length about what was best for me and not working was the answer. We also wanted to see what COVID numbers would do. So far so good in my district!! I AM itching to get back in the classroom but I know that is not best for me, and having me distracted and fatigued is not best for them either.
Also radiation will start in approximately 4 weeks. I am starting to get impatient. Let's get this started and tackled already. Apparently they want me healed first. FINE, I guess the Drs. know what they are doing.
After that appointment I got to head downtown to my 1 year neurologist appt. Those are pretty uneventful. We just go over prescriptions. Nothing has changed since my last seizure in 2016. Just a hoop to jump to get my meds renewed for another year.
He also reminded me that I need to eat healthy and not to gain any weight. I have reversed my habits and have lost a couple pounds. The trick will be keeping healthy habits when I go back to work (I'm currently on FMLA). BTW, it may be in my head, but I am CONVINCED that I am doing so well because we are taking the time to focus on my health without the stress of work. I get more sleep, I am eating better, drinking more water, have less stress than I would have if I was trying to do both. Many people call me strong. I correct them and tell me not strong, just wise. And unfortunately experienced. I STRUGGLED when I went back to work after my brain tumor. My doctors and I talked at length about what was best for me and not working was the answer. We also wanted to see what COVID numbers would do. So far so good in my district!! I AM itching to get back in the classroom but I know that is not best for me, and having me distracted and fatigued is not best for them either.
Also radiation will start in approximately 4 weeks. I am starting to get impatient. Let's get this started and tackled already. Apparently they want me healed first. FINE, I guess the Drs. know what they are doing.
After that appointment I got to head downtown to my 1 year neurologist appt. Those are pretty uneventful. We just go over prescriptions. Nothing has changed since my last seizure in 2016. Just a hoop to jump to get my meds renewed for another year.
And now that I'm thinking about both my brain AND my breast cancer I looked up something that I've been wondering. I often compare the two experiences and now I'm to the point that I want to know which one I should worry about coming back; my atypical meningioma (almost benign brain tumor)? or my stage 0 DCIS (contained breast cancer). Well google gave me an answer and I confirmed what my gut believed. I have a 3-7% chance of breast cancer reoccuring (as told to me by my oncologists). My chance of a brain tumor reoccuring is 24-32 percent. This is why I was more stressed and vocal about my brain tumor situation than I ever got of this one. (Again this is just my personal situation. Many breast cancer warriors are not as lucky as I have been).
Wow, I had a lot on my mind. Thanks for letting me get out of my head. Now, for a nap. I'm exhausted.
Wow, I had a lot on my mind. Thanks for letting me get out of my head. Now, for a nap. I'm exhausted.
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